Charles Stross shares issue 72 of the UK based SF&F newsletter Ansible to the SF-LOVERS mailing list. Can be found in SFL Archives Vol 18b.
For comparisons sake, here is issue 72 in html format at the Ansible website https://news.ansible.uk/a72.html
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Date: 3 Jul 93 07:06:27 GMT
From: charlie@antipope.demon.co.uk (Charlie Stross)
Reply-to: sf-lovers-misc@Rutgers.Edu
Subject: Ansible 72 (July 1993)
Ansible 72
July 1993
From _Dave Langford_, 94 London Road, Reading, Berkshire, RG1 5AU. Fax
_0734 669914_. ISSN 0265-9816. _Ansible_ is available for SAEs, whim,
#12/year, etc.
[Disclaimer: Each issue of _Ansible_ is designed for exquisite DTP in
multiple fonts. This text dump looks awful. So it goes. All thanks to
_Charles Stross_ for net access! DRL]
_WATCH THIS SPACE:_ as we go to press the death struggle between Little,
Brown and Millennium to commission the _Fantasy Encyclopaedia_ (companion
volume to ...) is in its final phase.
+++ The March of Mind
_Piers Anthony_'s personal statements are always intellectual treats. In
the _British Fantasy Society Newsletter_'s `Desert Island Books' spot he
chooses, for his `single item of no practical use whatsoever', a critic.
Also he would take _Finnegans Wake_ plus a guide to understanding it
(written presumably by a cr*t*c), and the complete works of George Bernard
Shaw (that fine dramatic and musical cr*t*c). Why Shaw? `As an outspoken
vegetarian writer of greater competence than the critics claim, I relate
well to him....' I love it, I love it. [_BFSN_]
_David Clark_, ConFrancisco chair, warns of new convention peril: Vampire
Cats in Arizona! `At Westercon, there was a woman going around with a black
cat. The cat wore a black cape with a red lining. This was Vladimir, a
"vampire". His fangs were rather long, though I'm told this isn't uncommon
in cats. He was being wheeled around in a little coffin, being made
available for photographs. His mistress -- his "human slave", as she puts
it -- is working to build Vladimir a career as a photogenic cat for
commercials, TV and such. (He was so relaxed about dealing with people that
we were debating which tranquillizer had been used.) At the Vladimir Party
it was revealed unto us that we could purchase Vladimir mounted
photographs, and Vladimir key-chains, and Vladimir photo buttons. _And_
the Vladimir fanzine. We were able to tear ourselves away from this
bounty....'
_Les Dawson_, who died in June, will be remembered as a very funny
comedian and not -- we hope -- for his staggeringly awful horror-fantasy _A
Time Before Genesis_ (1988). See `How _Not_ To Write A Novel' by David
Garnett in _Vector_ 144.
_Lilian Edwards_ knows how to acquire _Ansible_s: `Stamped addressed
envelopes? I'll get my secretary to send you some.'
_William Golding_ of _Lord of the Flies_ fame died on 19 June aged 81.
Anthony Burgess's obituary complained that WG didn't write enough; a great
scratching of pens was heard as the obvious rejoinder was added to many
draft Burgess obits....
_John Grant_ exults: `Red Fox have seen sense and decided that 12 _Lone
Wolf_ novels is probably enough. The temptation is considerable to make #12
end with the most stupendous cliffhanger -- as Our Hero dangles by a single
blade of grass over the cauldron of bubbling lava, a crossbow- bolt is
already hissing towards his groin, but if the caterpillar chews through the
grass in time he'll drop just far enough that the bolt merely parts his
hair rather than getting him in the chest, so that as he falls he can
unsheathe the Sommerswerd, strap it across his shoulders and thereby gain
just enough airlift that he can glide past the rim of the cauldron and into
the relative safety of a pitched battle between mutant necromancers and
giant carnivorous slugs left over from millennia ago when the legions of
Agarash the Damned stalked the world; on the other hand, if the caterpillar
chews just a mite too slowly ... _could this be The End?_ It's going to be
hard for me to get out of the habit, you know.'
_David A.Hardy_ announces the 20th birthday of his green plasticene alien
`Bhen' (created 1973; seen on various _F&SF_ covers since Nov 75; endemic
in Birmingham). Dave protests that Bhen is not a `little green man' but, as
evident from the scale of accompanying NASA hardware in the paintings, over
2 metres tall. _How did a mere artist afford all that plasticene?_
_Dave Langford_ whinges that _PCW Plus_ magazine is axing his legendary
column (along with other outside contributions) as part of a cost-cutting
exercise. He confidently expects his millions of fans not to write in and
complain.
_Chris Priest_ visited the doctor to have a horrid mole removed and
became a guinea pig: `While I was in the waiting room, a man was sitting
there with a big case and a large bottle of liquid nitrogen. Ha ha, thought
I, smart-aleck as ever, bet he's in for a kidney transplant. Turns out
he's a rep from a medical supplies company, here to demonstrate a nifty new
liquid-nitrogen scalpel on, well, er, me. I now have a black crater where
my chest was, slowly warming up....' Besides the ignominy of being operated
on by a _salesman_, Chris had to go back a week later for a real doctor to
finish the (botched) job. After which he was `stitched together by the head
of the Dartmoor Mailbag Division'....
_David Pringle_ has `combined' his ailing _Million: the Magazine About
Popular Fiction_ (now, alas, down to 500-odd subscribers) with _Interzone_.
Anyone remember the _Million/IZ_ crossover issue furore? No, actually the
merger announcement scheduled for _IZ74_ radiates soothing signals in all
directions: erstwhile _Million_ subscribers will get _IZ_ and are assured
that several _Million_ features like Brian Stableford's `Yesterday's
Bestsellers' series will continue to appear there, while for _IZ_ readers
the message is that _Interzone_ `will not change its nature'. [DP]
_Carl Sagan_ habitually asks UFO nuts who claim contact with alien
intelligence to prove it by passing on the superior ETs' proof of Fermat's
Last Theorem. Following Prof.A.Wiles's mindboggling announcement of a proof
at a Cambridge lecture on 23 June, Sagan could soon be getting a lot of
mail.... Since the hard bit reputedly runs to 200 pages, Fermat was right:
a bloody enormous margin will be needed to contain it.
+++ Condylopods
2 Jul // _Weerde 2_ anthology signing, 5:30, Dillon's, Oxford.
3 Jul // _Armageddon Fireworks_, Whitchurch, Reading -- contact Martin
Hoare or Hugh Mascetti. #4 at the gate.
14 Jul // _BSFA_, The Conservatory/Munchen upstairs bar. Chris Evans
and Garry Kilworth hold forth. 7:30ish.
17-19 Jul // _Contagion_ (Trek), Hospitality Inn, Glasgow. #35 reg.
Contact PO Box 867, Rutherglen, G73 4HR.
24 Jul // _Dangercon V_ (humorous sf/kids' TV), Croydon. #3 reg. 11am-
11pm. Contact 37 Keens Rd, Croydon, CR0 1AH.
30 Jul-1 Aug // _Lunicon_ (Unicon 14), Leeds. GoH Roger Zelazny. #12
reg, #6 for students. Contact LUU, PO Box 157, Leeds, LS1 1UH.
1 Aug // _Wottacon_ (_Dr Who_), Imperial Hotel, Exeter. #12.50 reg.
Contact 3 Victoria Clo, Kenton, Exeter, EX6 8JX.
2-6 Sep // _ConFrancisco_ (51st Worldcon), San Francisco. Reg $125 to
16 Jul, then $145 at the door. Contact (UK) 12 Stannard Rd, London, E8
1DB.
12-19 Sep // _Milford (UK) SF Writers' Conference_ cancelled. Too many
people going to ConFrancisco instead, they say. [CS]
1-3 Oct // _Fantasycon XVIII_, Nameless (in the flyer, anyway) Hotel,
Birmingham. #30 reg; BFS members #20. Contact 137 Priory Rd, Hall Green,
Birmingham, B28 0TG.
12-14 Nov // _Armadacon V_, Astor Hotel, The Hoe, Plymouth. #20 reg.
Various guests, all `subject to work commitments'. Contact 4 Gleneagle
Ave, Mannamead, Plymouth, PL3 5HL.
4-6 Mar 94 // _Masque III_ (costume con), Stakis Victoria Hotel,
Nottingham. #20 reg to 30 Dec 93. Contact 4 Ednaston Ct, Ashbourne,
Derbyshire, DE6 3BA.
20-22 May 94 // _Corflu Nova_ (fanzine con), Arlington, VA, USA. $37
reg. Contact PO Box 1350, Germantown, MD 20875. Corflu plans to exhume
a long-dead horror: the partly rugose and partly squamous Fanzine
Activity Achievement Awards.
_Rumblings_ // The Scottish Convention's first progress report was
sighted at a fan gathering on 27 June. Many swooned or spoke in tongues.
Miraculous cures were rumoured. Pigs flew. // That _Speller/Kincaid
Wedding_ (26 June) was a riot of something or other, with standing room
only in Folkestone's tiny registry office. Our fashion reporter forgets
everything but Paul's puce paisley waistcoat and the bell-bedizened anklets
that best woman Moira Shearman was persuaded to remove for the actual
ceremony. The bride wore something purple with glittery bits. Others wore
clothes. Best man Chris Priest almost made a speech but thought better of
it, thus wasting the nanoseconds of research which had supplied him with
the Doc Smith marriage line traditionally quoted at all Martin Hoare's
weddings: _`Then, as Kinnison kissed his wife, half a million Lensed
members were thrust upward in silent salute.'_ The rest is drunken silence.
+++ Infinitely Improbable
_A71_ Corrections. It was BSFA _Matrix_ 104, not infallible _Critical
Wave_, which rumoured that the Gollancz graphic-novels line might be
folding and led to hapless Dave `Well, I Just Mentioned There _Was_ A
Rumour' Langford being severely chastised by Gollancz's Faith `Strict
Disciplinarian' Brooker. // Also _Paul Barnett_'s lawyers demand the
insertion of the statement (re Mexicon), `It was _Stross_'s shorts that
were unspeakable.'
_Hodline or Header?_ Hodder & Stoughton sent circulars to their authors
on 3 June, insisting that the coming merger with Headline as Hodder
Headline PLC was a Jolly Good Thing. What luck -- one fewer sf list to
worry about selling to!
_Exotic Imagery._ Reported in a forthcoming Robert Jordan epic: `The
words left Elaida's mouth like a whip.' `Now Danelle's big blue eyes looked
thoughtfully inward.' [Anon] // Aussie radio, of a corpse: `In an advanced
state of decomposition, she was said to be an affectionate mother.'
[_SoEN_]
_Stamp Out Moriarty!_ UK stamps depicting scenes and people from Sherlock
Holmes stories are to appear on 12 Oct, marking the centenary of Holmes's
`death' at the Reichenbach Falls (er, but ...). David Pringle suggests `a
write-in campaign on behalf of Wells's Martians', but that centenary isn't
until 1998: how about Eloi and Morlock stamps for _The Time Machine_ in
'95?
_Meng & Ecker 6_, latest issue of the first comic to be banned in the UK,
turned up from Savoy Books. The highlight is a 7-page official transcript
of the Greater Manchester Police interviewing scriptwriter David Britton
about seized comics last year: it's non-communication to the point of
surrealism. I wasn't that wild about the comic itself, which offers a
scattering of OK jokes amid much murky artwork and determined Greater
Manchester Police-baiting (good heavens, such _bravery_, here is someone
_screwing a pig_, the frontiers of art are _hurled back_). But I would
defend to the point of extremely minor inconvenience Savoy's right to
publish it. The price is #1.75.
_C.O.A. Etc._ _Dick & Leah Smith_, 410 W.Willow Rd, Prospect Hts, IL
60070-1250, USA (a road is being built through their old place!). _Hazel
Marchington & Robert Newman_ will be married on 2 July. [MP]
_SF Encyclopaedia_ Updates. The most mysterious item in the _SFE_ update
sheet (see _A71_) came from Harlan ELLISON: `_The Book of Ellison_ (1978)
is unauthorized.' Since most of its text is by HE himself, this implies
wicked literary piracy on the part of publisher Algol Press -- that is,
Andrew Porter of _SF Chronicle_ infamy, who remarks somewhat bitterly that
HE never objected when receiving royalties: `If the book was unauthorized,
then Ellison's left hand didn't know what his right hand was agreeing to.'
// Spies report that the most vituperative comments came from Piers
Anthony, that one of the US computer nets rang with cries of rage at the
`omission' of Vonda McIntyre (someone misunderstood the alphabetization
convention), and that Larry Niven responded to _SFE_ hints about loss of
`joy' in his later work by sadly agreeing it was so. // An even newer
update sheet is expected soon, as addenda pour in. // The _Nimbus_ CD-ROM
edition planned for `late June' seems to have been delayed, but they've
sent another jolly sample CD of their wares, 128Mb including all of
_Frankenstein_ and _Dracula...._
_Raiders of the Lost Duck._ Anecdote from `Lucasfilm Archives, a state-
of-the-art 28,000 sq ft barn': archivist Don Bies grows weary of visitors
asking if they can open the Ark of the Covenant from _Raiders_, and of
telling them their very souls might be endangered. So inside the thing he
places two objects, and waits. In due course a brave fool lifts the lid and
reels back at ultimate horror: a Howard the Duck mask and a sign reading I
TOLD YOU YOU'D REGRET OPENING IT. [DLR] Gosh, how droll.
_Ten Years Ago._ The _TLS_ discussed Japanese comics' conventional sounds
for activities like slurping noodles (_suru-suru_), reddening with
embarrassment (_po_), adding cold cream to hot coffee (_suron_) and
vanishing into thin air (_fu_). The news that `When a penis suddenly stands
erect the accepted sound is _biin_' led to wild surmise about a Japanese
origin for the famous sound of Heinlein's nipples, _spung_.... (_Ansible
34_, Jul 83)
+++ Proofs of Holy Writ
[Fascinating documents float around the world of publishing. Paul Barnett
worked on the proofs of the coming _Before the Sun Falls_ by William James,
and felt it was so awfully written that it would damage Orbit's reputation
if not heavily edited. Orbit decided not to bother: the author is said to
be `touchy' about his immortal prose. Here's an excerpt from a very long
Barnett letter to the Orbit editor....]
For example, we have what I've come to call cliche-rivers. The author
doesn't quite know what to do with his characters when they're mouthing
dialogue, and has a limited gamut of incidental actions for them to
perform. In any twenty-page stretch of the text you're almost certain to
encounter not just a few but _all_ of the following at least once, some of
them (as asterisked) several times over:
*he showed his teeth // *he gave him a hard, flat, cold, level or
expressionless stare (about every two pages someone gives someone else a
stare of some kind -- I particularly liked the single despairing instance
of giving `an oblique stare') // he produced a _[pick from the limited
variety above]_ stare // *he looked down his nose // *he wrinkled his nose
// *he smiled grimly // he smiled sourly // *he grinned // the corners of
his mouth twitched // *he pursed his lips (this one is so frequent it was
driving me nuts) // *the head came round // *his head went back // his head
came up // his st'lyan screamed // his st'lyan danced (first third of book
only) // he sidestepped his st'lyan (latter two-thirds of book only) // he
opened his mouth, then closed it again // he clenched his teeth // he
seemed/appeared to do something (while in fact doing it -- as in `he
appeared to hesitate') // *he made a face // something flashed in his eyes
but then was gone // he reined around // his eyes went wide // he nodded
(after having spoken an assent) // he shook his head (after having spoken a
dissent or negation) // he rolled the cup between the palms of his hands //
it was as if a message of some kind passed between them // he stirred the
grass with his toe
Others are more localized. For example, early on a shipboard Kubulai
spits expressively over the side; just a few pages later someone else comes
up and, presumably inspired by his lord's example, _also_ spits
expressively over the side. This is in the midst of all the other,
expressionless spits over the side that are going on, you understand....
_[There is much more. A st'lyan, I gather, is a bit like a h'rse.]_
Ansible 72 (c) Dave Langford, 1993. Thanks to John Bangsund's Society of
Editors Newsletter, Paul Barnett, John Clute, Mark Plummer, Andy Porter,
David Pringle, David L.Russell and Our Distributors: Vikki Lee France,
Steve Jeffrey, Janice Murray, Charlie `I will make you famous on the Net'
Stross, Alan Stewart, Martin Tudor and Bridget Wilkinson. 1/7/93
[Additional note from Charlie Stross: there is now a listserv address for
Ansible. To subscribe to Ansible by email if you don't get netnews, send
mail to ansible-request@dcs.gla.ac.uk.]
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